Art of Allowing

I just finished a visualization. It was a guided one. But I didn't see much in my visualization. What struck me was that it didn't matter that I couldn't see myself all dressed up in the ballroom...don't ask, it doesn't really matter. I couldn't see my guides or know their names. But I felt everything. The energy of everything.
The biggest thing I took away from that was that I was okay with it, with all of it. The not knowing. There was no fear. No judgment. Just allowing.
I remember meeting up with David, a man that I had been involved with ages ago. We went for a walk and talked. I said to him that I was giving up judging others and had found that I had a lot more time. It was half meant to be funny but it was wholly true.
One of my cousins, Ray, whom I had not seen for ages, asked me when we met at a family funeral, "So I guess you are still liberal?" and I responded "Yes, more so, actually." He asked how I could be more liberal than I was before.
I said that I had since decided to be liberal enough to let everyone have their own opinion without having to argue about it.
It kind of surprises me but also delights me that I have been on this allowing and releasing journey for so long. I am happy knowing that I am growing more accepting in my life. This is not to say that I just fill my life with anything that rolls along. In fact, it is the opposite...by allowing myself to have only certain things in my life, I am able to meet whatever rolls along, be grateful for it and then keep only what I want. What I truly want. Not just materially, either.
Today I am allowing myself to be. Be whatever is right for day.
Some would probably say that I am being unrealistic. That I NEED to worry or fear or 'get real'. Stuart watches MythBusters. One of the hosts, Adam, sometimes wears a shirt that says "I reject your reality and substitute my own."
So I'm good. I am allowing the next right thing.

moo and the full moon

I am pretty excited. I had a great shop update yesterday. Some of the items are listed here. I am also excited that I am getting better at taking photos of my work. They were so bad last year that it was embarrassing. Now they are better and better.
It's a full moon tonight. I have really enjoyed sitting in my recliner (which I have to do tonight after my little fall down the stairs this morning) and watching the beautiful full moon. I wish that I could take a great photo of that but no such luck.
And I have just ordered my new business cards for my shop from the coolest place. It's called www.moo.com. It's so fantastic. Thanks for turning me onto them, Suz! In 2 weeks, I will have some of the coolest cards around. Mini cards and a photo of my work on the front of each. AAAAAHHHHH! I am pretty jazzed.



Also pretty sleepy. Tomorrow is a creating day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday are creating days. Thursdays are for photographing and Friday for listing my new work on etsy.
I am finding my own way to create and coach in the way that works best for me and that is also pretty exciting.

Now if only I could organize my studio (which in the summer I call my sweatshop) in a way that doesn't always end in chaos, I would truly be over the moon!
It's good to have something to look forward to.
Just a note to say thanks to all of you who support me, whether in my coaching practice, my creative endeavors, moral support. All of you in all ways. Thank you!

Makes me Happy

It's time for a change. I have let myself get way way overweight.
I am tired. I don't get to do lots of fun stuff that I know I would do if my body was fit. I want to swim with the dolphins for my 50th (ah!) birthday in a few years.
I want to skydive. Hike without going into some death match for oxygen. Hell, walk up several flights of stairs without that fight. Have fun clothes. Have a ton of money to spend at J Jill and look crazy good in the clothes.
Losing weight is not about changing your food and your exercise level. It is about changing your mind about who you are.
Right now, I am a fat person.
Some say that weight keeps us safe...keeps us safe from having to get too close to others. That is certainly not the case for me. Relationships have never been a problem for me. Well, not since kindergarten anyway.
For me, it is a way to slow me down. I am afraid that I will be an out of control hurricane. There will be no stopping me and I am afraid that will annihilate those around me.
Well I am tired. Not just of being tired but of not having the energy to live the life that I want. It's my time. And I am ready to roll.
ps- the photo is one I did with a great new iTunes app called TextDraw. I think that it is what it is called. So much fun.

weather or not

A few days ago, I was in a real funk. It was one days where a step forward resulted in 4 steps back. And I took the emotional hit for it. It seemed that little had meaning to me and I am definitely a meanings girl.
Why was I even making things for my shop? What difference did it make? Yeah, I might make some money, but surely creating had to result in more than just money.
I talked to people. Spent time alone. Took some time off of working on anything. Took a nap. Nothing worked.
The dogs needed to go out for what seemed to be the thousandth time of the afternoon. I leashed them up and out we went. It was raining. I love a rainy day and knew I was in trouble when even that didn't shift my mood.
My dogs have gotten used to walking in the rain. Indy, the little fellow, is like a sponge. His soft blond hair gathers moisture the way my hardwood floors gather dust bunnies. Charlie, sleek and short haired, is like a duck, able to shake the water off.
We walked in the front yard. At one point, I stood under a sheltering tree as the dogs sniffed. I realized that it was raining pretty hard and yet we felt nothing of it. Just 18 inches forward and we would be in the thick of it.
Since I am neither sugar nor a witch, we stepped forward. It was communion. I relaxed my neck so that my face was straight up to gather the raindrops. I just stood there. My eyes closed and sometimes open. Feeling my clothes get wet and wetter. My skin cooled and I felt the water run in small rivers on my scalp.
Alive. I felt so alive. I stood there, 2 leashed dogs standing by my side, in the midst of a veritable green haven, trees surrounding us and wet grass and clover under our feet. The rain fell and my mood soared. The wetter I became, the happier I felt.
I had to run an errand later that day. I saw the recycling truck and guy on the road up ahead of me. I had to take this photo of the street and if you look up the hill, you can vaguely see his truck. I sat for a few moments and what I realized was that he and I were kindred spirits of a sort. He wasn't bothered by the rain. In fact, by his behavior you wouldn't know that it was raining.
This cloud was from my craft run today.
And this rainy night time shot is driving home just a little while ago. I love the way the colors just melt across the pavement. It always reminds me of Paris in the rain. Must have been from another life.
Thanks for the rain. Thanks for the connection. Thanks for the release. Thanks for the beauty and all the second chances.

Congratulations, Melissa!

Wishing you great joy, Melissa!
Melissa graduated college on Friday morning. She is beautiful and brilliant, and I am not just saying that because she is my niece! We are all so proud of her!
It was amazing to watch this happen. At the end of the graduation, I just started crying. Not the little "oh this is so touching" tears. These were the unstoppable energy tears. Being in the coliseum, surrounded by thousands of people who felt the same way for their family members...wow. It was palpable.
Melissa is the kind of person who changes lives. She has a heart greater than her body should be able to contain. She is loving and kind and sweet and funny and fun. You just feel good being around her.
So it isn't surprising that she chose to become a teacher. I think about the countless number of children who will learn to love learning because of Melissa. She will change the world in the way that is most perfect to who she is.

My greatest wish for her is that as she graduates from student to teacher, from young adult to adult, that she knows that life is for creating. It isn't about just accepting. Yes, be happy for what you have. For those in your life. But understand that you are powerful. You are the creator of your world. You can have everything you want and in the way that you want it. It takes faith. But it is there for you.
The world will tell you all sorts of scary things...bad economy, no jobs, you can't, you shouldn't...don't buy into it.
There is always a need for someone who is extraordinary. And you are simply that, Melissa. Extraordinary.
I love you. Go be your most fabulous self. The world will be that much better for it.

Bosco

My sister Sandy and her husband Greg have recently adopted a new puppy. Meet Bosco, 10 month old sack of sweetness and bounce.
Sandy is an extraordinary photographer. While cleaning, she took these photos of their new baby.
I know that we adopt these animals. I have 2 dogs and 3 cats. A lot of times these animals are called rescues.
I think that this is completely backwards.
They are the rescuers. We are the rescues.
They move into our homes and
hearts. In a matter of days, they love us beyond reason. They don't ask all the questions that we do...are they the right ones for me? Is this what I want in my life? Have I looked around enough to be sure?
They just start to love, start to trust. Start to make their new home with their new family.
I watch my own dog, Charlie, who was so timid a year ago when we adopted him. Now he plays with people that he wouldn't go up to. He is so much more confident. Strangers aren't a reason to cower anymore.
He is happy.
I spent the weekend celebrating my niece's graduation. The party was held at Sandy's beautiful house. A fabulous garden party.
I watched Bosco and how he was bouncing around, tail swagging, seeing new things and enjoying life. I watched him follow my sister, if not physically, then with his eyes. Always wanting to find her, to be with her. Saw him with my brother in law, how happy Bosco was when he got a cuddle from Greg. A treat. Went for a walk.
Bosco has no questions about how he got where he is. He's just dog happy that he is.
Long ago I heard the quote, "I want to be the person that my dog thinks I am."
I love that. But maybe I want to be the human version of who my dog is.
Not sure that I could ask to be a better person than that.

Incurable Optimist

I am rewatching...actually recording now...the tv special Michael J Fox: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. What a fantastic show.
Yesterday I was on a teleseminar with Elyse Hope Killeron about Creating Prosperity. Again, fantastic! One thing that she said is that we are all recovering intellectuals. If I hadn't been on mute, the group would have heard me laughing. I am guessing had we not been on mute, I would have heard the class laughing.
Earlier in my life, when I thought I knew a lot, I really valued my intellect. I loved that I could have 3 lines of separate thoughts running in my head all at the same time.
Now I really don't care what I know. Now I care about experiencing...what I have and haven't yet experienced. Anyone who knows me, has ever known me, knows I am an emotional being. And when I think back to things, I remember how it felt. I remember some details but I remember how I felt during the experience. What the environment felt like. I remember feelings like others remember smells.
Being a recovering intellectual, I can now say that I am an optimist. When I was in college, I described myself as a realist. I was an optimist who was hedging my bets. And being an emotional being, I choose to feel happy.
So it is no surprise that I love this quote from the Michael J Fox show..."Optimists are open to alternatives in the face of adversity. They deal with reality head on. That hope flourishes in groups and resonates when people are doing what they love. And that happiness is contagious. You can give it out like newspapers. Feel it in everything you do."
Hand it out like newspapers.
Hand it out like newspapers.