over it

You know what?
I am over it. I am over trying to figure out how to act so that everyone will find me the way they want me.
Tired of playing inside the lines. Living by anyone else's guidelines but my own.
Being a Libran, I want to be liked and acceptable. Even while I am writing this, I feel the instinct to sensor, to say what I want but in a way that is palatable.
Raw.
Wide open.
Me.
I'm not for everyone. I am like a hurricane. My waves are big, thrilling. My winds are strong and powerful. Actually, I am like a hurricane level sunshower. I have light. I am not all dark and stormy and I don't want to be. I want to have FUN.
This is about acceptance. It isn't about others. It is about allowing myself what I want, to be who I am and to do it with relish! And not the pickle kind.
I love the quote from Vincent Van Gogh.

I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.

- Vincent van Gogh

I am tired of living with a body that is too big to do the stuff I want to do.
I am tired of living in a house that is too small for what I want to do.
I am tired of living with a bank account that is too limiting for what I want to do.
Too little light.
Too much restriction.
Too many shoulds.
Not enough woohoos!

This isn't bitching. This is just to say that it is time. It's time to accept more. Not less. To accept what I want and not what I don't. I am guessing it is going to take some commitment. Take a strength that I must muster some time but it's worth it. To take no prisoners. Not to volunteer to be a prisoner, waiting in vain for someone to grant me parole.
To live without judgment of others or myself.
Yea, live without judgment.
Part of me wants to apologize to those whom will be uncomfortable with it but that's not up to me.
Being me, I send out WAVES of love and joy and light and everything FABULOUS! My wish for the world is the same one I wish for myself.
Live with joy! Live your dreams. Be who you are. Be present. Be love. Be joyful. Be grateful and have a great life. Have great expectations and hope like a kid on Christmas Morning. Be satisfied like you were with the best meal you have ever eaten. Forgive with abandon. Breathe with fullness. Love with no limits. Feel. Go for it, whatever it is.
love you all
me