Thursday, March 19, 2009

When little things become big

It's been one of those days.
I have done a bunch of work getting stuff sorted in my studio, cleaned out my purse, went through a bumch of papers, shredded some receipts, cleaned out my funky bag that I call my knitting bag which is really my catch all plus knitting bag. Cleaned out my car. And a few other things.
What do all of these have in common? They are not where my Ikea receipts were.
On Friday, Erik and I went to the new Ikea store in Charlotte. It was so much fun. I got a great new chair for my studio and a trestle table. One of those 'pick the top, pick the legs' deals. I was mesmerized by this and even though Erik suggested a different top, my mind was made up.
Until we drove back the 2 1/2 hours and I had the night to think about it. He was right. The butcher block top was the best choice because I do a lot of hammering with the metal work and eyelet setting and stuff that I do. The top I chose would be beautiful until it was ruined. Which could have happened pretty quickly. In my meager defense, would you trust this guy?
So I ask him if he is interested in heading back there again. He's game. There was something else that he wanted anyway. Cool. Another fun road trip. We like taking little road trips together and Ikea is a lot of fun.
Why aren't the receipts where I put them? Oh crap. Here we go.
I then proceeded to make a tiny thing the symbol of all that I perceive to be wrong with me as a human being!
Understand, I was committed to this line of thinking. I spoke with 3 friends/coaches, Erik and my husband. I cried. I exhausted myself.
When I regained enough composure to think of my 'just in case' plan, I called Ikea. I could give them the transaction number (Erik checked out right behind me and knows how to keep up with receipts), the date, the time, the amount, the payment method. Could I please exchange it? They put in an inquiry. It had to be decided on a store to store basis.
I kept cleaning and purging. Nothing. Or nothing that I was looking for. I did find a tee tiny drill that I received and haven't been able to find and the bottom part of my iPod case, which went MIA a few days ago. And the page that I wrote the order for the special sanding papers I use on precious metal clay after firing. So that was good.
After expending all of this energy, I sat and meditated. I brought to me the energy I would have when I found them. I really couldn't dive into the meditation as I would have liked because I was too tense but I was able to do it.
I found the receipts. They were 5 feet away from where I was meditating. In a bag that had apparently fallen out of my knitting bag. I put a laundry hamper down on top of the otherwise empty plastic bag without realizing it.
And thank you.
Little things, uh?
It is now raining. One of those cool rains that blows in hard and fast and lets loose with fat drops and fresh air. Like the atmosphere is helping me release. Release the silliness. The seriousness. The dramatics.
Helping me remember the beauty of the little things. And the beauty that they are little things, even if I choose to make them big at the time.
Just for a parting are a couple flowers I saw out on the front lawn today. They look big. The second photo shows the clump in which they reside. The little dots are these flowers. It's all about perspective.

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